


Carlos and Cecil's Disney Vacation

by thundercaya



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: 5 and Dime, Disney World & Disneyland, M/M, Mountains, World Famous Jungle Cruise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 07:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundercaya/pseuds/thundercaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil takes a forced vacation from work and makes the most of it by bringing Carlos along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preparation and Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit self-indulgent and I apologize. I work at Disneyland, so it had to be done, and writing this made my workdays a little brighter.

A note on the floor just outside of Station Management’s office caught Cecil’s eye. He glanced down the hall hoping to spot an intern who could pick it up for him, but finding no one he cautiously bent down and did it himself.

"Cecil," the note read, "take a vacation."

Cecil eyed the door, then swallowed hard before gently knocking. “H-hello?” he began hesitantly. He was pretty sure he already knew the answer he’d get, but it didn’t hurt to ask. “Paid vacation, or…?”

Inside the office, there was a crash of thunder and the light through the window turned deep red. Maybe it did hurt.

"All right, all right," Cecil said hurriedly. "Unpaid. Got it."

***

"I’m getting some vacation time," Cecil told Carlos. "If you can get away from your work for a few days, we should go somewhere. If not I’ll just spend it here."

“ _Can_ we go somewhere?” Carlos asked, raising an eyebrow. “Can we… _leave_?”

"It’s not like we’re trapped here," Cecil said. "Didn’t you hear about my travels through Europe on my show?"

"Must’ve missed that one," Carlos said.

"I should tell you about it sometime," Cecil said. In that same moment he remembered the men he’d been with in the various places he’d visited. "No, I shouldn’t."

Carlos chuckled, getting it immediately but not at all worried about Cecil’s romantic past. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Would you want to go back there on our vacation?”

"I’d really rather go somewhere new," Cecil said. "I don’t actually get much time off of work."

"Personally I want to go somewhere familiar," Carlos said.

"So somewhere I’ve never been that you have. Any suggestions?"

Carlos thought for a moment. “Well… have you ever been to Disneyland?”

***

Carlos didn’t want to burden Cecil with booking the vacation package and making travel arrangements, but Cecil insisted that not only could he handle it, but he was also the only one who could do it. Carlos didn’t see why Cecil thought so, but he allowed the radio host to take care of it since that would allow him time to get some more work in before they left. The next day everything became clear.

"I got them!" Cecil declared with excitement, bursting into the lab. "Our travel visas!" He brandished two nondescript slips of paper that read nothing more than their names and "Disneyland Resort."

"Travel visas?" Carlos repeated, taking his from Cecil and examining it. "So that’s why I couldn’t leave town before. I didn’t have one of these."

"You tried to leave town?" Cecil asked, slightly surprised. Unpleasantly so.

Carlos glanced at him, then even more closely at the visa, clearing his throat. “It was a long time ago. Before we got together.”

"Well," Cecil said, much brighter, satisfied with that answer. "We’d better pack. We’re leaving tomorrow."

"What time is our flight?" Carlos asked.

"Don’t you worry about that," Cecil said with a smile. "It’s all taken care of."

***

Carlos was woken by a pair of lips pressed gently against his own, which was strange because he and Cecil had gone to bed in their own respective homes the night before. Carlos’ eyes shot open.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Cecil greeted brightly.

Beyond Cecil pulling back from the kiss, Carlos saw that he was in his own car, which was inexplicably parked in a parking structure. He jerked forward, only to get caught by the seatbelt.

"What? WHAT? How?!"

"Shh, calm down, sweetheart," Cecil said, putting a hand on Carlos’ chest to still him. "We’re here! I mean, I think we’re here. I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like."

After a few deep breaths, Carlos removed his seatbelt and climbed out of the car, vaguely aware that someone had dressed him. He spotted a sign with a picture of Donald Duck, as well as several excited-looking families climbing out of their cars.

"Well…." he said to Cecil, who had also exited the car, "the last time I was here, this parking structure… wasn’t, but it looks like we’re in the right place." He popped the trunk and found their suitcases inside. "Looks like our stuff’s all here, too." He closed the trunk again and turned to Cecil. "Now what?"

At that moment Cecil’s phone buzzed. The radio host pulled it out of his pocket.

"Oh!" he said. "A confirmation email from our hotel. We can check in any time after three and we can pick up our tickets at the ticket booth."

"How many days are we here?" Carlos asked, gesturing for Cecil to come with him as he moved to follow a group out of the structure.

"We have tickets for three days, and our stay is two nights," Cecil said, glancing from his phone to the ground and back as he walked.

"I wish you’d told me that before we left, Cece," Carlos said. "I don’t like you having such a big hole in your pocket until I can get to the bank and pay you back."

"Oh, it’s fine," Cecil dismissed. "I didn’t book it—the City Council did. They took half the money from my bank account and half from yours."

"I wish you would have told me that, too," Carlos said, hoping that the City Council hadn’t taken more than they needed to.

***

The plan was to spend the first day at California Adventure, which hadn’t existed the last time Carlos had visited, and the second day at Disneyland.

"After we check out on the third day, we can hit anything we missed or that we want to do again."

"You’re so good at planning things," Cecil said admiringly, affectionately gripping Carlos’ arm as they rode the tram towards the park proper.

"Yeah, thanks," Carlos said distractedly as he tried to check his phone. "Huh. I wonder why you have service and I don’t."

"I like your shirt!" a young woman said, smiling at Cecil as he exited the tram.

"Thank you!" he said, and then—"Which one am I wearing?" He glanced down and saw it was the I’m With Perfect shirt with an arrow pointing to the left. "Cutecumber," he said to Carlos. "You’re on the wrong side of me."

"I’m not gonna spend the whole day worrying about what side of you I’m standing," Carlos said.

"Fine," Cecil relented with a sigh. "But if we take any pictures…."

"Sure, no problem," Carlos agreed.

***

"Do people live here?" Cecil asked, taking in the sights of Buena Vista Street as he and Carlos entered California Adventure.

"No, almost everything here is fake," Carlos said. "But it looks pretty convincing, doesn’t it?" He glanced down at his park map. "Looks like we can go left into Hollywoodland right into Condor Flats, or straight to Paradise Pier. What sounds good?"

"I’ve always wanted to go to Hollywood," Cecil said.

"Like I said, it’s not really—" Carlos cut off abruptly, then his voice was distant. "Yeah, okay."

"Hey, cutecumber," Cecil said, grabbing Carlos’ arm as the scientist veered to the right. "I thought you said left."

"Churros," Carlos said, staring at a vending cart. He turned to Cecil grinning excitedly. "Cece, they have churros!"

"Are… aren’t those made out of wheat?" Cecil reminded cautiously, but Carlos had already pulled out his wallet and was ordering two.

"Here, babe, take it," Carlos said, holding a churro out to Cecil as he bit into his own.

"Are you sure it’s safe?" Cecil asked, trepidation waning as he watched the cinnamon and sugar raining down from Carlos’ churro with each bite.

"Sure, it’s safe," Carlos insisted. "Disney doesn’t want to get sued. They wouldn’t sell it if it were dangerous."

"Fine," Cecil said, taking the churro. "But just one." He took a bite and his shoulders loosened. "Mm. Maybe two."

They made short work of their churros long before they reached their first destination, the Animation Building. Carlos wanted to try drawing a Disney character but the next lesson wasn’t for another ten minutes so they ducked into a side room to check out the zoetrope.

"Oh my goodness, this is amazing," Cecil said, hands pressed to the glass as Toy Story sculptures came to life behind it.

"Cecil, don’t touch it. You’re getting fingerprints—and, uh… forehead prints on—"

Cecil turned around suddenly and grabbed Carlos by the arm. “I want one,” he said. “You understand how it works, right? It’s science, right? I want one. With, uh, cats! Cats jumping in and out of boxes. Carlos, honey, can you make me one? Please?”

"I, uh…." Carlos scratched the back of his head. "Well, I mean, I could rig up a turntable and some strobe lights, but I’m not an artist, babe. I can’t make sculptures."

"If I can find someone who can make the sculptures, you’ll do it?" Cecil asked, hands clutched together pleadingly.

"Uh… sure," Carlos said.

"Thank you, my sweet Carlos!" Cecil said, excitedly, grabbing Carlos by the shoulders and kissing him.

***

"You’re right, you’re not an artist," Cecil said, examining Carlos’ sketch of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. He took a picture of it with his phone, like he’d already done with his own, so they wouldn’t have to carry the paper around all day.

"Thanks, babe," Carlos said, rolling his eyes. "So. Next we’ll do the Tower of Terror and—" He stopped dead in his tracks and put his arm out to stop Cecil. "Cecil," he said, just above a whisper. "Cecil, they have pretzels."

Cecil followed his boyfriend’s gaze to a nearby vending cart. “More wheat?”

"All the wheat," Carlos said, approaching the cart and buying two, shaped like Mickey Mouse. "Oh my God,” Carlos groaned around a bite of his pretzel. “Do you have any idea how long and how badly I’ve been craving one of these? I’ve been _dreaming_ about putting my mouth around—” He noticed Cecil glowering at him. “What?”

“ _Well_ ,” Cecil said indignantly. “I hope you have dreams like that about _me_.”

"Sure, Cece, all the time," Carlos said between bites. "You’re a dream come true."

Satisfied, Cecil bit into his own pretzel. “Admittedly this is pretty amazing. Mm. I might need another one.”

"Yes," Carlos said. "But later. We should pace ourselves. Besides, we don’t want to eat too much before riding the Tower."

***

Cecil glanced around the boiler room as the already low lights dimmed and came back up. He nodded in approval at the eerie music and the distant cries of “mommy… mommy….”

"I like it in here," Cecil said. "Good ambience."

"You would," Carlos said, trying to hide that the aforementioned ambience was having its intended effect on him, making him more anxious by the minute.

When it was finally their turn to load onto an elevator, Cecil slid in ahead of Carlos. “Me first,” he said, referring to their proper t-shirt positioning. This put Carlos in the aisle seat, a fact that only compounded the dread he was already feeling. After buckling in, he took hold of the handle between him and Cecil, noticing with some annoyance that Cecil didn’t go for any handle at all. Lucky him, to have access to two handles and not need them. A guest on the other side of the aisle noticed Carlos’ agitated look and helpfully said, “there’s a hand hold on the side of the seat.”

Carlos searched with his hand and relaxed visibly when he found it. “Thank you,” he said to her, and as the elevator pulled back from the load shaft into the ride shaft, he gave up on the handle between him and Cecil and grabbed the other man’s hand instead.

***

"That was it?" Cecil asked as he and Carlos exited the elevator.

"What, you didn’t like it?" Carlos asked, legs slightly shaky.

"Well, it was all right, I _guess_ ,” Cecil explained. “But I was expecting it to be scary! Why call it the Tower of Terror if it’s not _remotely_ terrifying?”

"Disneyland is for kids," Carlos shrugged. "It’s scary to them."

They reached the photo room, and seeing the other guests take out their phones to takes pictures of the preview images, Cecil did the same.

"Wow," he said, noting the wide-eyed, slack-jawed look of distress on his boyfriend’s face. "You’re really good at acting scared."

Slightly flushed, Carlos cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. “It’s a gift.”

***

After spending some time in Cars Land, Cecil and Carlos found that they were ready for lunch. Carlos consulted the map.

"There’s hot dogs, burgers, pizza—"

"No pizza," Cecil cut in. "No one does a slice like Big Rico."

"No one," Carlos agreed. "How about clam chowder?"

"I’m not really a fan of—"

"In a bread bowl."

"Yes."

***

Paradise Pier was next, and while Carlos was disappointed to find that the roller coaster also didn’t scare Cecil, he was at least grateful that in the moment the ride photo was taken he didn’t look scared either.

"Look how your hair is flowing, sweetheart," Cecil gushed as he snapped a picture with his phone. "When we get home I’m gonna print these all out and put them up in the studio."

"Didn’t you say that the unintelligible, possessed forest creatures who fill the morning time slot eat all the pictures you leave in the studio?"

"Yeah," Cecil confirmed. "But they’ll look great for a day."

As they made their way to the next ride, the music that aided the Pier’s 1920’s feel caught Cecil’s ear, and he tilted his head, listening.

"Hey, you can Charleston to this," he said.

"You know how to Charleston, Cece?" Carlos asked.

"Honey, I was in musical theater. Of _course_ I know how to Charleston.”

"Show me," Carlos said, panting his feet and settling to watch.

"What, you mean right now?"

"Sure," Carlos said. "Look, _she’s_ doing it.” He gestured toward a guest who was doing a few simple steps to the amusement of her friend.

"Well… all right," Cecil agreed. He approached the woman. "May I?" he asked.

The woman looked first surprised and then excited as she gave a nod. A beat later and she and Cecil were off into what almost looked like a choreographed routine. Carlos turned to the woman’s friend.

"Are we in a musical?" he asked.

"I hope not," the friend said. "I can’t sing for shit."

When the song finished, the woman gave a bow to the small crowd that had gathered to watch. She gave Cecil a jaunty wave and then headed off with her friend.

"Oh, wait," Cecil said, but the woman didn’t hear. He moved to follow her, but Carlos caught his arm.

"Not trying to get her number, are you?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Cute _and_ funny,” Cecil said with a roll of his eyes. “I was supposed to prick my thumb and smear the blood on her forehead to thank the lord of dance for our Charleston. Since I didn’t, one of us might have a tragic accident and lose our legs.”

"A blood sacrifice for a Charleston? What do you have to do for ballet?"

"Have you _seen_ a ballerina’s feet?” Cecil asked. “Ballet is its own sacrifice.”

"Well, it’s better you didn’t do it here," Carlos said. "They’d probably arrest you and put you in Disneyland jail."

"I guess I’ll have to pray about it when we go to the hotel," Cecil sighed. "Good thing I brought my bloodstone."

Another round of churros and several rides later, Cecil and Carlos made their way back to Hollywood Land to check out the nightly dance party a helpful Cast Member had told them about. On the way they came across a show wherein a black woman in a flapper dress was dancing with Goofy as she sang a jazz tune with a live band.

"Hey let’s watch this," Carlos said. "Maybe she’ll invite you to Charleston with her."

"It’s a foxtrot," Cecil said, rolling his eyes. "And don’t you dare make fun of me for that. As I recall it was your idea."

Carlos shrugged, smiling, and crossed his arms.

Goofy left the show before the end of the song, leaving Dime, the singer, in want of a new dance partner. As the next song started, she began to flirt with men in the crowd. With the chorus nearing, she approached Cecil and Carlos. She grinned, taking Carlos’ arm.

"Can I borrow him?" she asked Cecil.

Cecil waved his arm in a “by all means” gesture, and Dime pulled Carlos into the performance area.

"You’re coming with me, sweetheart."

Carlos alternated between looking flustered and shooting glares at Cecil as Dime draped her feather boa over him and sang that she wanted to be loved by him (just him, and nobody else but him.) Cecil laughed openly as he snapped pictures with his phone, not blaming her one bit for wanting to dance with his perfect boyfriend. However, once the song was finished, Cecil’s attitude toward the performance made an abrupt transformation.

"Nice to meet you, snookums," Dime said as she released Carlos back into the audience. "Remember to look up Dime if you ever need change."

Cecil’s face went hot. “What did she just—”

"Easy, Cecil," Carlos said putting a hand on Cecil’s shoulder and guiding him away from the show.

"But she—!" he shot livid glances over his shoulder. "How dare she!"

"It’s a scripted show, babe," Carlos reminded.

"You said this place was for kids!" Cecil insisted. "How is that family friendly?!"

"Give it a bad review on your show when we get back home," Carlos said. "Don’t get yourself thrown in Disneyland jail."

"Fine," Cecil sighed. "But I think I need more wheat and wheat by-products."

***

"Feel better?" Carlos asked as he and Cecil made their way to the parking structure to move their car to the hotel parking lot.

Cecil patted his stomach, which was full of chili dogs and beer. “Much,” he said.

"It’s too bad we couldn’t dace more," Carlos said. "The DJ was pretty good."

Cecil let out a _hmph_. “I think we both danced enough today.”

***

Once they were all checked in, Cecil brought out his bloodstone for his belated sacrifice.

"Do that in the bathroom," Carlos said. "If you get blood on the sheets they probably have to throw them out." Cecil did what he was told, and Carlos grabbed the phone off the nightstand, calling up the front desk. He was finished with his call by the time Cecil emerged.

"I see you’re ready for bed," Cecil said, noting that Carlos was dressed down to his boxers.

"I see you are too," Carlos said, giving Cecil an elevator look in his tighty whities. Cecil grinned and climbed into bed, giving Carlos a firm kiss.

"Mm, the things I want to do to you…." he said. His grin dropped then, and he hung his head. "…but can’t because I ate too much bread."

Carlos let out a laugh. “Oh, good. I was afraid you’d be offended when I said that.”

Cecil climbed off of Carlos and settled in beside him, wrapping his arms around the other man.

"We should eat less of it tomorrow," he said.

"We should," Carlos agreed. "But we won’t."

"Yeah," Cecil said. He hummed lightly, one of his hands finding its way into Carlos hair. "Sweet Carlos. Sexy Carlos. Warm, comfy, perfect Carlos."

Carlos stroked Cecil’s arm. “Love you, too, babe. Good night.”


	2. Day 2

The shrill ringing of the phone edged into Carlos’ sleep, waking him enough to hear Cecil groan beside him as neither of them actually made a move to answer.

"Carlos," Cecil said, his voice clearly also unwilling to be awake just yet. "Phone."

Carlos turned away. “So answer it.”

Cecil whined, then groped for the phone until he found it. “Hello?”

Carlos drifted in and out, vaguely aware of a distant cartoonish voice.

"Yes sir, thank you," Cecil muttered before hanging up the phone. "Carlos," he said, still not moving to get up. "Mickey Mouse says it’s time to wake up and have more fun."

Carlos stretched. “Better do what the mouse says.”

***

A few complimentary bagels in hand, Carlos and Cecil made their way to Disneyland. Passing through the gate, Carlos felt the anticipation building inside of him, but it wasn’t until they passed under the berm and emerged in Main Street that his breath left him and he had to grab onto Cecil’s shoulder. He could see his older sister Lily, bossy as always, trying to plan the entire day all by herself. His parents reminding her, it’s Javi’s birthday, Javi gets to decide. Little Javi, a Happy Birthday sticker on his shirt, not at all concerned with rides, asking repeatedly, where’s Mickey, where’s Mickey Mouse? And him, twelve years old and wishing the mouse ears he’d bought on _his_ fifth birthday still fit him so that he could wear them, even though he’d refused new ones, insisting he was too old for that sort of thing.

"Cutecumber, what’s wrong?" Cecil asked, brow knit.

"N-nothing," Carlos said, shaking his head. "I just—" He took a deep breath and let it out. "I’m fine, babe, just uh… Wait here for a second. I need to duck into City Hall real quick."

When Carlos returned, he was noticeably cheered. On his shirt he was wearing a red button that said “Happy Anniversary,” Mickey and Minnie holding hands above it. He handed a matching button to Cecil. “Here, babe. Put this on.”

"But it’s not out anniversary," Cecil said.

Carlos shrugged. “I know, but let’s be honest. Can you see us ever coming back here?”

Cecil pinned on the button. “All right. So we’ll have two anniversaries this year.”

***

They started with the Matterhorn Bobsleds, since Carlos claimed it was his favorite as a kid. Standing in the queue, Cecil regarded the structure critically. He asked Carlos for the map, and after scrutinizing it for a few moments, he squinted up at the peak again.

"Hey, honey?" he began. "In California Adventure… Grizzly Peak…. Disney built that, right?"

"Yeah," Carlos said.

"Uh-uh… And in Cars Land they built a whole canyon, right?"

Carlos pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing where this was going. “Cecil….”

"And here on the map. Space Mountain. Splash Mountain. _Big Thunder Mountain_.” He gestured at the Matterhorn. “This thing right here. All fake mountains.”

"Yes, Cecil, the mountains here are fake, just like almost everything else, but that doesn’t mean—"

"If Disney can build fake mountains, anybody can! Why should I ever believe that any mountain I see is an actual real mountain?"

"Cecil, the Matterhorn is based on a much larger and much more real Matterhorn on the border of Switzerland and Italy."

"Disney probably built _that_ Matterhorn to make _their_ Matterhorn seem more authentic.”

"No one could build a mountain that big!" Carlos insisted. "These ones are pretty small. It’s just forced perspective and visual tricks."

Cecil crossed his arms, stubbornly. “Maybe whoever built those other mountains used visual tricks, too.”

Carlos rubbed his temples. “Next time you get a vacation we’re climbing Everest.”

***

"All right," Carlos said. "Nearby we have the Tea Cups, a bunch of dark rides, Storybook Land—"

"What’s Storybook Land?" Cecil asked.

"Uh… you ride a boat through a bunch of miniature towns and—"

"No," Cecil said.

He was similarly opposed to it’s a small world.

***

Carlos wanted to do something nice for lunch today, but the wait time at the Cafe Orleans was too long for how hungry they were, so he made a reservation for dinner instead. In the meantime they went for fish and chips and as the waited for their order to be ready, Carlos again tried to use his phone.

"Do you want to use mine?" Cecil asked.

Carlos continued to squint at his phone. “No…. Thank you.” He looked at Cecil then. “When I’m in Night Vale I can’t call anywhere outside of Night Vale. Now that I’m outside of Night Vale, I can’t make calls at all. If I’m intentionally being jammed, then I don’t want to risk trying to work around it.”

"Who did you want to call?" Cecil asked him.

"It’s not important," Carlos said shoving his phone back in his pocket. "Why don’t you go grab us a table? I’ll wait for the food."

***

"I don’t want you to form any expectations about this ride and be disappointed," Carlos said as he and Cecil approached the Jungle Cruise. "The animals are robots and because they’re out in broad daylight, they look it. Also the skipper is going to tell a lot of terrible jokes, and that’s on purpose. They’re supposed to be terrible. Got it?"

"So why are we going on this?" Cecil asked.

"Because it’s so much fun," Carlos said with a grin.

To Carlos’ delight, they were seated at the front of the boat. There was a throwaway line about the cruise being potentially deadly, and the realization that Cecil might not even read that as a joke somehow made it even funnier to Carlos. However, his amusement was just about to begin.

"Who here believes the captain should go down with the ship?" the skipper asked. A few guests raised their hands, Cecil included. Because he was so close to the font—and probably also because of his bright orange t-shirt—the skipper singled him out. "What’s your name?" she asked.

"Cecil."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet your captain, Cecil."

"Hey…."

Carlos laughed openly at many of the jokes, some of which he remembered from his childhood and some of which were new to him. Cecil was more amused by the scientist’s reactions than the jokes themselves, but he did manage a laugh when the skipper commented that the zebra that was clearly no longer among the living looked “dead tired.” Later, when the skipper translated the cannibals’ chanting to “give us your skipper—I mean captain,” Cecil gave an “ahh” and nodded appreciatively at the earlier set up.

"So what did you think?" Carlos asked.

"It was… cute," Cecil allowed.

"Right?!" Carlos asked, still grinning, taking it as more of a compliment than it was.

"You know, I could do that job," Cecil said.

"You could," Carlos agreed. "You’d sound great over the mic, we know that. And I think people would love your delivery."

"You know, I think being around all that water made me need to use the restroom," Cecil voiced.

Feeling rather inspired, Carlos said; “Well, _urine_ luck, there’s one right there.”

"Thanks, cutecumber," Cecil said, not noticing the pun. "I’ll be right back."

Carlos’ shoulders fell with disappointment, then he straightened. “Hey, wait! I’m coming, too.”

***

"So Cecil, I should have asked you this sooner," Carlos said, half a Monte Cristo sandwich still in front of him. "Why did they _make_ you go on vacation?”

"Well, I can’t say for sure," Cecil said between bites of his seafood crepes. "They didn’t tell me. But my guess is that Station Management is testing the interns on the radio to see who’d make the best replacement."

"Replacement?" Carlos repeated, alarmed. "Cece, you don’t think you’re getting fired, do you?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Cecil waved off. "But you never know what might happen. I could lose the lottery, or get caught outside on street cleaning day. Or my double could come back and murder me in my sleep. It’s smart to have a replacement on deck."

Of course Carlos had always known these were possibilities, but hearing Cecil rattle off even this short list so matter-of-factly drove home just how real the danger was, and how little he liked the idea of Cecil facing it every single day. Carlos had experienced the occasional close call, but he didn’t even want to think about how many Cecil must have had over the course of his life. He was lucky he’d made it out of childhood.

"Cecil…." Carlos said, hand sliding over the other man’s, entwining their fingers. "Have you ever considered… moving out of Night Vale?"

"I… Well, no," Cecil said. "I’ve never thought about it.

"It could be fun," Carlos said. "I’d get a job at a university. You could… get that Jungle Cruise skipper job."

Cecil knit his brow and opened his mouth to speak, but Carlos rushed on.

"Or, I mean, you could still do radio. Public radio or, or something. Just… something. We could, uh, we could get annual passes and come here any time we wanted."

"I’m… sure it would be fun," Cecil said. "But… well, I have good life in Night Vale already. There’s really no reason for me to leave."

"You’re right," Carlos said, forcing a smile. "Forget I mentioned it."

***

In order to get decent seating for Fantasmic! Carlos and Cecil had to post for the show fairly early. Since they’d exhausted many of their topics for small talk while standing in queues for two days, they were just a bit tired of it and so waited in silence. After a few minutes of watching Cecil check his phone, Carlos decided to pass the time a different way, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Cecil’s lips.

They didn’t intend for it to get out of hand, and if they hadn’t been too stuffed to make love the night before, it might not have. As it was, their kisses became more and more passionate and their hands covered more and more area until they were approached by a cast member.

"Excuse me," the cast member said. "This is a family park, not a family-making park."

Cecil looked up at her. “Well, apparently it’s a family- _breaking_ park according to the ten-cent hussie at California Adventure who tried to steal my lovely Carlos yesterday right in the middle of her show.”

Carlos went red and he covered his face with his hand. The cast member first looked surprised, then she covered her mouth to stifle a laugh.

"Iffff…." She tried again. "If you have an…."—more laughter—"…an _issue_ with one of our shows, puh… please feel fuh-free to mention it to Guest Relations. But please be courteous to our other guests.”

Cecil leaned his head on Carlos’ shoulder and looked up at the cast member. “Is this all right?”

"Yes," the cast member said. "Happy anniversary." Then she was off to laugh more freely.

"I think you just made her day, babe," Carlos said.

"I made mine, too," Cecil replied, taking hold of Carlos’ hand. "Now I know what to do about Dime."

***

The show hit Carlos harder than he expected. Yes, it was cheesy, but the twelve-year-old in him, the one who’d just spent a day having an exhausting amount of fun while surrounded by the love of his family, was alive and in the driver’s seat of his mind. The lights, the music, the colors, the characters, the _dragon_ (and it was a dragon now, not just the dragon’s head on a cherry picker from twenty years ago) all awed him in a way that nothing this normal could ever awe the adult Carlos again.

Carlos squeezed Cecil’s hand, hard.

"Sweetheart, is everything all right?" Cecil asked when the show was finished.

"Yeah…." Carlos said, distantly. He shook himself, focused on Cecil. "Yeah," he said again. "Let’s go back to the hotel."

***

When Cecil emerged from the bathroom ready for bed, he found Carlos seated at the desk, folding a sheet of paper into an envelope.

"What’s that?" Cecil asked taking a seat on the bed.

"It’s uh…. Well, I wrote a letter," Carlos admitted. "To, uh, to my family."

"Is that who you were trying to call?" Cecil asked.

"Yes," Carlos said. "I had hoped that… well, it doesn’t matter."

"If you miss them why didn’t you ask to visit them?"

Carlos sighed and pushed back his hair. “I didn’t want to reopen the wound. But being here… I guess it happened anyway.”

Cecil moved to Carlos, wrapping his arms around the man from behind.

"Oh, honey. Is that what was bothering you today?"

Carlos melted in Cecil’s embrace. “Yeah,” he said.

"You know, when I said I wouldn’t leave Night Vale for good, I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t follow you if you left. It’s just that we _can’t_ leave, and I’ve known that for a long time, so I have no reason to even think about it. But you do, and I understand that.”

Carlos turned his head to kiss Cecil. “Its fine,” he said. “Just try not to get killed, all right? I wouldn’t last on my own and I’m not dating one of your interns.”

"I’ll try my best," Cecil said. "So how are you planning on sending that out?"

"They sell stamps at Gust Relations…and hopefully they’ll have tape so I can seal this thing. And there are mailboxes all over the park," Carlos explained.

"Real mailboxes?" Cecil asked, moving to sit on the bed again. "How do you keep track of what’s real here and what isn’t?"

"That’s a funny question for you to be asking me," Carlos said.

"Touché, sweetheart. If you don’t mind me asking, what does the letter say?"

Carlos turned the letter over in his hands. “Well, it says that I’m doing fine and my work is coming along well. That I love them and I miss them, but I’m not coming home anytime soon. I, uh, told them not to take each other for granted, and to enjoy each other’s love and company. And not to worry about me in that regard because I found someone wonderful, who’s great to be around and looks out for me, and knows how to Charleston.”

Cecil, whose small smile had grown broader and broader through that last part, burst out laughing. “Are you _still_ on that? I have other talents, you know.”

"I do know," Carlos said with a smirk. "But why don’t you show me anyway?"

Cecil smirked back. “Get over here and I will.”


	3. Day 3 and Home

After another wake-up call from Mickey--which Cecil insisted Carlos take since he'd spoken to the mouse the day before--Carlos and Cecil packed up their things and checked out of the hotel. After moving their car back to the parking structure, they were ready to begin their final day.

They went back to California Adventure first, and Carlos went straight for Guest Relations to buy stamps.

"Did you want to complain about the show the other day?" Carlos asked, standing next to the door.

Cecil shook his head. "No, I'm over it. I think you proved last night you're not looking for change."

"Family park, Cece," Carlos reminded with a grin before heading inside.

***

Carlos emerged several minutes later, stuffing a book of stamps and a roll of tape into his pocket.

"She's a little swamped in there," he explained. "And it was faster to just give it to me."

As the two stepped out onto the faux street, a woman dressed up as a messenger rode up to them on her delivery bike.

"Hello, boys," she greeted with a smile. "I've got a telegram for you." She pulled one out of her bag and cleared her throat.

"Dear Mr. Palmer." Her smile faltered and she stared at the telegram for a moment before forcing the smile back on and continuing. "We know about the wheat and wheat by-products. To avoid re-education, do not consume any more and do not bring back any contraband. And Mr. Scientist, don't even think about sending that letter."

Carlos and Cecil stared at the messenger as she continued to stare at the telegram.

"May I take that?" Cecil asked, holding out his hand.

"Uh...." The messenger was reluctant, probably wanting to keep the telegram as proof of what was happening, not knowing that she'd be better off if no one believed her.

"Here," Cecil said, taking it from her. "Thank you."

"Uh, yeah," she said, forcing a smile. "Well! Have a good day!" Bewildered, she rode her bike away.

Cecil turned to Carlos. "Sweetheart...."

A very broad and very strained smile appeared very suddenly across the scientist's face.

"I'm so glad they sent that!" he said. "I completely forgot that we need to buy souvenirs for the City Council and the Sheriff's Secret Police." He grabbed Cecil's arm, dragging him into a store. "Come on, babe, before I forget again."

"Carlos-" Cecil began, but Carlos cut him off.

"Confetti popcorn! Perfect. Who doesn't love confetti popcorn?" He grabbed at the bags. "Two for the City Council, two for the Secret Police, and one for us." He dumped the bags at the nearest register. "Oh, gosh," Carlos said, after his transaction was complete. "I don't want to carry all of this around all day."

"I could've told you that," Cecil said, cocking an eyebrow. "Why-"

"We should rent a locker," Carlos said, dragging Cecil once more. Once they had a locker, he placed all but one of the bags inside. "Here, might as well leave anything else we don't need." Carlos reached into Cecil's pocket and pulled out his phone.

"Hey!" Cecil said, but Carlos locked up both their phones and guided Cecil to a mock front porch where they could sit with walls on three sides of them.

"Are you gonna tell me what's-" Cecil began.

"Eat your popcorn, Cece," Carlos said, holding the bag out to him. "And smile because it's so good."

Cecil did what he was told and then tried again. "Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"

"If they're watching us, they tapped into Disney's security cameras. Cece, don't look for them."

"I'm not," Cecil said. "I'm saying hi to the fake dog lady." He waved at the woman as she passed.

"Good," Carlos said. "That's good. Now. I wrote the letter in the hotel, where there are no cameras, so they must have heard me talk about it. If they're listening, they probably tapped our phones."

"You don't think someone's been following us?" Cecil asked. "Someone had to plant the telegram. They could have been here the whole time."

"No," Carlos said "They would've put a stop to the wheat thing right away if they'd been here. But someone does have to get us home." Carlos tried not to think about _how_. "So it _is_ possible that whoever planted the letter is going to follow us all day until we're ready to leave."

"Well," Cecil said, thoughtfully. "I'm in the clear as long as I don't eat anymore wheat. So the question is, do you think sending that letter is worth re-education?"

"I want to say yes," Carlos said. "That of course my family is worth re-education. And maybe if I'd never had it before, I could fool myself into thinking it wouldn't be that bad."

"I didn't know you'd been re-educated," Cecil said.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"So you know it _is_ that bad."

"Right."

"Smile, Carlos."

For a few moments they just ate their popcorn in silence.

"Why don't the hotel rooms have cameras?" Cecil asked.

"Privacy," Carlos said simply.

"So am I correct to assume that the restrooms don't have them either?"

"You.... You're right," Carlos said. "I can go in there and stamp the letter. Throw the rest of the stamps away. Leave the letter where a cast member will find it, and when no one comes for it, they'll probably just mail it. Cecil, you're a genius."

"Thanks, sweetheart, I try. But they'll want to find the letter in your bag when you get home."

"Not if they see me throw it away," Carlos said.

"You can't do both. Throw it away and send it."

"Don't worry about that," Carlos said. "You'll know what I'm doing when I do it. But Cecil, you do realize you're helping me lie to the government. Are you sure that's okay? I mean, I know you... like the government."

Cecil shrugged. "I like my landlord, too, but I lie to _him_ all the time. And I'd do it for you in a heartbeat."

"I bet Dime wouldn't do that for me."

Cecil tried to stifle a laugh, but couldn't. "Shut up!"

***

They went back to the locker for Cecil's phone, in case audio could help their charade.

"Well, excuse me," Carlos said, overly loud as he opened the locker. "I didn't know you couldn't go five minutes without your phone."

"I'm _very_ important," Cecil replied. "Who knows when they might need me."

"You just want to look at cat pictures," Carlos said dismissively.

"Is that so wrong?" Cecil asked. "Do you want yours?"

"Naw," Carlos said. "It doesn't work anyway."

***

"Ugh, what can we even eat now?" Cecil groaned as they walked past a churro cart.

"Uh... chili fries?" Carlos offered. "Turkey legs. Corn on the cob."

"Imaginary corn?" Cecil asked hopefully.

"Cecil, why would they have imaginary corn at Disneyland?"

"I don't know, maybe because everything here is friggin fake?"

"Not the food, babe. Who would spend four-fifty on an ear of imaginary corn?"

"I've done it," Cecil said. He shrunk under the look Carlos gave him. "What? It was out of season!"

"When is it even in season?" Carlos asked.

"It's different every year," Cecil explained. "But don't worry, we always announce it on the radio."

***

They were back at Disneyland before they needed to use the restroom, which was when they planned to make the drop. Carlos ducked into a stall while Cecil watched for anyone they'd seen already. Carlos pulled out his wallet and tapped together all the food receipts he'd collected over the three days of their vacation. He put a stamp on both this envelope-looking thing and the real letter, then using a pen he'd absentmindedly taken from the hotel he addressed the fake. With the real and fake letters in separate pockets, he took care of what needed to be taken care of and then left the stall. After washing his hands he slipped the real letter under the bag lining a trash can so that the cast member would see it when he pulled the trash.

Carlos emerged and walked up to Cecil.

"All set, cutecumber?" Cecil asked.

"All set."

***

Carlos spotted a cast member dumping trash liners into a single liner before smashing the whole thing down with a plastic board.

"You know what, Cecil," Carlos said. "This has been burning a hole in my pocket all day. I need to just get rid of it already." He pulled out the decoy letter. Cecil could tell pretty easily that it was a bunch of receipts taped together, but from a distance it was probably pretty convincing. "Here, babe," he said, handing it to Cecil. "Can you do it for me?"

"Of course, honey," Cecil said. "Let's make sure you don't go changing your mind, huh?" He approached the cast member as she prepared to lift the next trash liner. "Excuse me," he said, holding the decoy letter towards her liner. "May I?"

She looked slightly annoyed, but she told Cecil to go ahead. Once he'd dropped the letter in, she dumped the trash on top of it and pressed it down.

"Thank you," Cecil said, and then he returned to Carlos. "You all right, honey?"

Carlos sighed deeply and very convincingly. "I will be," he said.

"Hey, I know what'll make you feel better! Do you want to do the Jungle Cruise again?"

"OH MY GOD, I love you," Carlos said, sincerely.

Cecil smiled. "See, I pay attention. Though I think you lied about what your favorite ride is."

"I didn't lie," Carlos defended. "I misremembered."

***

Before the night was over, Carlos and Cecil crossed back to California Adventure to watch The World of Color.

"That was way better than Fantasmic!" Cecil said when the show was finished.

"No it wasn't!" Carlos said. "I mean, well, yes it was, objectively, but no it wasn't!"

Cecil patted Carlos' arm. "All right, cutecumber, all right. The one you loved as a kid is obviously better."

***

When they returned to the car, Carlos and Cecil weren't quite sure what to do.

"Do we... start driving away?" Carlos asked.

"I don't think so," Cecil said. "Maybe we should just... buckle in and go to sleep?"

"Oh, they'll love that," Carlos said. "People sleeping in their parking structure."

"They didn't seem to mind that we were sleeping when we got here," Cecil pointed out.

"That's because they weren't in a rush to go home at the end of their shift," Carlos said.

"Well, do you have a better idea?" Cecil asked.

Carlos sighed. "No." They did what Cecil suggested. "Should I at least start the car?"

"Couldn't hurt," Cecil said.

Carlos turned the key, and some kind of white gas began to seep from the AC vents.

"Oh, that's lovely," Carlos said.

***

Carlos awoke in Cecil's apartment, where the other man was already up and unpacking his suitcase. He checked the clock. Morning. Probably.

"Oh, hello sunshine," Cecil greeted as Carlos sat up. "Sleep well?"

"Too well," Carlos muttered, noticing that someone had undressed him. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yes, it was lovely," Cecil said. "We'll need to go on vacation again sometime soon."

Carlos dropped back onto the bed. Not too soon, he hoped.


End file.
